ok so it's like almost 2 am right now...rather early for me actually. i've been doing a hit and miss job at staying consistent with Jillian's 30 day shred video, i think i'm getting bored with doing the same one over and over...so i switched it up, i did level 2 instead of 1 (even though one leaves me wiped out as it is) and i think it was actually a good idea. dont get me wrong, it was crazy hard...some of the moves i couldn't even hardly do...it's like i'm not built for it, which i know is just getting my body conditioned to it...ugh.

conditioning, a bit of a dirty word in my book.
conditioning requires you doing something your body presently cant handle, over and over, slowly....until it can.
suck.

plus this whole running thing is going lousy ....i've never been athletic in my whole life, and running is NOT my "thing". i know a lot of people do it to blow off steam, or wind down...or just to think....me, all i can think of when I'm running, is how much i cannot stand running.
my record as of now for a times run....is a whopping minute.

oh hush, that is an accomplishment...it wasn't' even close to that before...idk why i'm wired so badly when it comes to cardio ...my lungs start burning and i feel like i could puke and pass out at the same time, and it's not from lack of breathing properly...i've been really watching it...i just can't seem to catch my breath at all...so i'm left with lots of walking time trying to slow the insane heart rate down to manageable...it's ridiculous...

time...

or patients....

both i seem to have no tolerance for when it comes to working out.

i like to see improvement. see results.
if i dont...i stop.

even if i tell myself i wont.


i worked out today though...this is good...i have to keep this up, i can't keep skipping, that's no good and only making things harder in the long run.

2 weeks.

that's the time period i want to make, working out everyday...start off small.
i have a friend coming into town that i haven't seen in 2 years...and i was a bit thinner then. i wanna have seen some progress, if only my schedule becoming somewhat normal...


i say that...as I'm typing it at 2 am in the morning...

oy. I'm going to bed. night lovelies.